Questions Designed for the Sake of Humour?

From this website: http://humour.group.stumbleupon.com/forum/54543/, under the heading 'Some great questions brought to you by Peter Kay'. I don't know who Peter Kay is, but most of his questions, though probably intended to be on the humourous side, seem totally bizarre to me. I shall therefore help him answer his questions here.

1) Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

Do you actually think you pay enough for your gynaecologist to stay and watch you get undressed? He/she has got better things to do than stand around and watch you. Besides, I think the poor doctor probably doesn't really want to that much of you in 1 session (you probably don't look THAT good down there, yah? =P).

The question here should be 'Does Peter Kay have his own gynaecologist? Or do females routinely talk to him about their visits to the gynaecologist?'


2) If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

I think that person owns it as far down as they can possibly get. Heehee. Guess this isn't that bad a 'question'.

3) Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Don't know leh. I don't put mascara often, but when I do, I can do it with my mouth closed.

Ok fine. I sometimes stick out my tongue when doing it. But I stick out my tongue most of the time anyway (fortunately partner is usually dummy when this occurs - i.e. no need for partner to concentrate). There seriously isn't enough space in my mouth for it to remain there all the time.

But I don't think my friends put on mascara with their mouths open. Bizarre question.

4) Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bottom?

Erm. Yes. I don't wiggle my bottom when brushing teeth. I can't even remember a time when I ever did.

My current thoughts: Is Peter Kay a male who goes to the gynaecologist, wiggles his bottom uncontrollably when he brushes his teeth, and watches females put on mascara?

5) Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'?

Because Peter may be Mary and noone will question him/her on his/her true identity.

This is the 2nd 'question' I find to be (slightly) humourous.

6) Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

They do????

7) Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Haha. In this current day and age, most freezers DO have lights. But in the past, yes, there used to only be a light in the fridge, but not in the freezer. My very rich friend thought that all freezers came with lights because his did (I commented that this was not the case, but he said his freezer always had a light).

So why would they put a light in the fridge, not the freezer? Because chances are that when you get up in the middle of the night for a snack and are lazy to switch on the light, whatever you want is likely to be in the fridge, not the freezer. In most freezers too, there's like only 1 thing that can actually be eaten without having to first thaw and/or cook - icecream. So to be more economical, there's only a light in the fridge.

Maybe Peter Kay keep his moisturiser in the freezer, and gets up in the middle of the night dehydrated and wanting to slather on some nice cold cream regularly? Hmmm....

8) Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Because the mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' was purified and sterliised before it was bottled for you to drink, and the 'use by' date is when this (relatively) bacteria-free state of the water would last until.

9) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Don't know. My toaster doesn't seem to do that. Peter Kay - learn to control your toaster!

10) Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Don't know. Got only C5 for AO French =P.

Are French fries in France just called fries?

There's kind of a difference between a 'normal' kiss and a 'French' kiss, but there's no real difference between 'normal' fries and 'French' fries. Improved on your question for you, Peter Kay; or perhaps you could use 'my' question because someone else already had and you'd be accused of plagiarism? Heehee.

11) Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

Someone who already knew what milk was, and knew that squeezing the dangly things would give milk. The first person to milk a cow likely saw calves drinking milk from their mother before.

12) What do people in China call their good quality plates?

Porcelain. 磁瓦. Or 好素质碟盘.

13) Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

I don't point to my wrist when asking for the time. And when you need to go to the toilet, it could be for many reasons other than the one that involves your crotch. You could need to use your ass, or wash your hands, or reapply your makeup. Goodness. Do you need to tell others what you are going to do in the toilet? They might actually decide NOT to tell you where the toilet is after you point to your crotch, and then you can go pee in your pants =P.

But there WAS this weird time when a woman came up to me and asked me for the time, saying she wasn't wearing a watch. To emphasize her point, she pointed at her wrist (no watch there, of course). Weird part is I wasn't wearing a watch either.

14) What do you call male ballerinas?

Ballet dancers. Male ballet dancers, if you wish to be SO precise.

15) Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

Don't know, but I actually see the humourous bit of this question.

16) If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Quizzes aren't quizzical. Quizzical is usually a description of the look on a person's face, or an expression. Like the one that was on my face when I read most of the 'great' questions by Peter Kay.

3/16 vaguely humourous questions. I wonder what Peter Kay does for a living.